Peeling the Onion

I'm happy to report that I went my entire first day of unemployment without watching a single episode of Law and Order : SVU. Full disclosure - I did watch a movie but it was rainy out. Plus, it was sort of an educational film starring Lindsey Lohan, written and directed by Emilio Estevez. How could I resist?

My day wasn't all cuddling with pups and relaxation though. I did some serious evaluating. I realized that I can't  progress and move on to new and exciting things until I deal with the past. With a full day ahead of me, I set out to do some serious cleansing (physical and emotional). Somehow, it turned into a day of firsts for me too.

First stop - our refrigerator. I have never, not even once, properly cleaned out our refrigerator and it's likely the most used/least cleaned thing in our home. How could I possibly open new doors to my future when I'm being held back by 3 lbs of napa cabbage from this Summer's CSA? As I was cautiously sniffing unidentified tupperware contents, I started wondering why I hadn't done this sooner. How had I allowed our refrigerator to get to this point? The answer was simple - I "never had time" to do it before - or at least that's what I told myself. It made me think about all the things I neglect because "I don't have time." I mean, I eat food out of that fridge everyday. What's the point of buying organic farm fresh groceries if they're sitting on the same shelf as moldy carrot ginger soup? If I don't have time for something as important as cleaning my food's home, what else don't I have time for? So after doing this....

...I made a list of all the things I need/want to start making time for. This list ended up being way longer than I expected. I can't believe all the things I put off because I told myself I was too busy. Not ready to share my list quite yet but I'll be filling y'all in as I go.

Second stop - dabbling in witchcraft. Believe it or not, this too was another first for me. Last week, John and I made our way to Enchantments. According to their website, they're NYC's largest Witchcraft and Goddess Supply Store. I was in the market for a Custom Carved Candle to assist me on my journey through unemployment. We were greeted by a lovely witch/goddess at the candle carving desk. She asked me about my situation and also about what I was looking to achieve. After a quick chat, she told me I'd be getting the "Uncrossing" candle. This candle is meant to open doors and remove obstacles - sounds exactly what I was looking for. After being hand carved, glittered, oiled and anchored with lead, my candle was ready.

I brought the candle home but it sat on my mantle for a few days. Before you light your candle, you're supposed to write a letter of intent explaining what you hope to accomplish with your candle. This was one of those things I didn't have time for, or maybe I was overwhelmed with the idea of putting my thoughts on paper (because for some reason, when you put your thoughts on paper, they become so much more real) so I kept procrastinating. Finally, after I made my post-fridge-cleaning list, I decided that today was the day. I sat down and wrote my letter of intent, read it out loud a couple of times (so my candle and I would be on the same page) and lit the wick. It takes about 7 days to burn completely down. I can put it out when I leave the house but every time I re-light it, I have to focus my energy on my intent and read my letter again. Though I'm usually a huge skeptic of things of this nature, I have a good feeling about my candle. If nothing else, it's made me really analyze my goals for my future and put them down on paper so I'm constantly revisiting them. If that's not a positive step in the right direction, I don't know what is.

Third stop - Greene Ave Tattoo Shop. For me, getting tattooed is a pretty emancipating experience. At this point, I'm used to going under the needle but today was different. It was my first time getting tattooed by a woman, the lovely Becki Wilson. I didn't really think it would be that much different but it truly was unlike any tattoo experience I have ever had. Collected and calming, Becki has a way about her that is very confident and cool but never pretentious. When I spotted this drawing on her Instagram, I called dibs right away.

The nesting doll held some meaning with me. I love the idea that nesting dolls are kind of like onions - after you peel each layer away, there's a similar but not identical layer underneath. It's what I'm hoping to accomplish - to start peeling away at my layers so I can learn more about who I really am and what I really want in life. Am I expecting my layers to be similar but not identical - yes. Am I ready to be surprised if I peel away a layer of onion to find a pear - yes.

So with my cleansing underway, I start my first part-time gig tomorrow. That's right, I got a job (but don't worry, it's not a real one)! You're looking at the newest shop girl at Green Ave Tattoo Shop. I'll be there 2 days a week, not as a boss but as a wide-eyed novice, ready to soak up everything I can.

Wish me luck.